Sunday, January 20, 2013

JOHN FUND Exhibit 22 - Announcement wedding will not take place

Never was an announcement  made with such a sense of relief, of was the relief of such short duration. 

Melinda Pillsbury-Foster
regrets to announce that
the marriage of her daughter
Morgan Frances Pillsbury
John H. Fund
will not take place.

Having issued this terse pro forma announcement of a nonevent would in most circumstances be more than enough said. It is regrettable that these circumstances are not usual or normal or even civil in the accepted sense.
I had believed at some point late last summer that Morgan and John would marry. It seemed like a reasonable solution for each of them. I believed there were strong and enduring affections on both sides; that each cared about the other.
But the course of events has disabused me of these hopeful expectations.
I very reluctantly agreed to sponsor a small and very private wedding. I rescind that sponsorship now with a sense of relief.
But that leaves us with the question of what really happened.
If I could leave that question to the idle speculation of strangers I would be tempted to do so. But there are compelling reasons to speak out.
First, lying is wrong. Slander is wrong. And while I wish Morgan had never started a relationship with John that is, in fact, what happened. The relationship has never ended. The two are together as I write this.
It is a fact that Morgan became pregnant by John; true that he manipulated her into having an abortion; true that he then became emotionally abusive. That abusive behavior has continued to the present time, escalating to physical violence.
He has broken every promise he has made to change his behavior.
I do not expect to be believed solely on my word. Documentation is available.
I believed in good faith that John understood the need to do the right thing. The right thing in any situation where you know you have harmed another is to admit your fault, offer apology and appropriate restitution and learn to be a better person. Sometimes our actions make further relations impossible. But most people accept apologies and amends; these can make relationships stronger.
Who among us has not done wrong? Relationships, as well as individuals, can be healed.
Appropriate behavior is reinforced by the presence of those around us. Disapproval and condemnation are powerful tools that should never to be misused. But they are important because they help us understand when we do wrong.
John has used slander, lies, and the power of his position to hide his actions from friends and the public. He used emotional abuse and violence to control Morgan. This was very wrong.
His reasons for that are easy to understand. No public figure, even a small one like John, wants it known he is abusing and battering the woman with whom he is living. But the behavior of his various professional associates is harder to understand.
Why was John able to stop the publication of the original article in TALK Magazine? I urged Morgan not to talk to John Connelly, but agreed to confirm her story when she insisted. I have been told that John Fund has been very busy lying to various fellow journalists for months. I have been told, but do not know, that he has used threats to keep the story unpublished. But no media outlet has done any research to confirm or disprove the story. If I am to believe what I have been told, this is because John used his power as a respected pundit to deny the truth, slandering both Morgan and myself in the process.
This goes beyond sloppy journalism. Those responsible enabled and empowered John's abuse.
Journalists exercise enormous power. That power should never be misused. If they failed to act because John is useful to them and suppressing the story was in their interest then they acted in collusion and are party to the subsequent abuse and slander. What they condemn in politicians and in business must also be guarded against within their own ranks. The misuse of power is wrong no matter who or what is involved.
Doing the right thing applies to all parts of our lives. Doing the right thing in the private places of our lives most defines who and what we really are.
I have no explanation why John asked me to sponsor a wedding. I have urged for months that he get into therapy with Morgan if she would not leave him. When I learned of the abuse I begged her to leave and insisted she file a police report for her protection.
Treating domestic violence as a disease instead of as a very ugly way to get what you want must stop. Power should not immunize anyone to the consequences of their actions.
Not even very large pundits.

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