I can see it is very possible to finish this chronology with what I have from other websites and so an going to do this over the next few weeks, putting up the material on the Throw Mama From the Train time on and including all the nasty ugly things I have until right now. It should be interesting.
1977 - Labor Day Weekend - National
Libertarian Convention in at the Sheraton Palace Hotel, San
Francisco, California.
I first met Craig on the cruise
through the harbor which took place on one of the evenings before
the banquet. The next day he
serenaded me outside the convention hall.
1978 - The children are enrolled in
First Lutheran of Northridge, the school from which both Ayn and
Dawn will eventually graduate junior high school. Arthur and Justin
will also attend there. Having the kids in a good school was a
priority that came before anything for myself, always.
1979 - Labor Day Weekend - National
Libertarian Convention in Los Angeles at the Bonaventure Hotel,
Los Angeles, California. Saw Craig at a cocktail party. We talked
briefly. He invited me to attend a concert he was giving. I later
went to see him perform, since he had asked me to. I left before
the event was over. There was something else going on, I think a
dance, and I wanted to attend that instead.
1981 - August 26 - 30 - National
Libertarian Convention at The Denver Hilton, Denver Colorado. I saw
Craig on the convention floor. He was running for vice-chairman of
the LP. I listened to his pitch (he was handing out rainbow ribbons
as his campaign buttons and asking people to wear them.) I took one
but voted for the other candidate.
My then husband, Ron Foster (Ne Kellett) agree to get a divorce and he agrees to finish the room addition which was funded by my parents so we can refinance the house and pay them off. Ron spends all of his spare time playing Dungeons and Dungeons and barely sees the children. We agree to start seeing other people.
1982 - Late summer. Talked to Craig
when he called the office I was running and funding on Westwood
Blvd. Craig had moved to Los Angeles and was living in the Pasadena
area. He was working for a guy who ran a small computer company out
of his house. He was not really working full time. Consequently,
he had lots of time to volunteer, which is how I became better
acquainted with him.
I kept the office open after the
election and Craig continued to volunteer time. We became
romantically involved after the LPC gave me a Roast at the BreaMar
Country Club in the San Fernando Valley. He asked me out to dinner
and a movie. That was when he actually broke up with Naudeen, the
woman he had been living with in North Carolina.
1983 - I become pregnant by Craig because he had sex with me without my consent. Ron and I agree to put off the legal divorce so he can be with me during the birth.
February - President’s Day Weekend - Libertarian Party of
California Convention in San Francisco area. I was upset about being
pregnant. It was not what I wanted or planned. Craig wrote me a check for child support. The amount was
$300.00.
March - National Committee Meeting at the Villa Hotel in the San
Francisco area. I sent up with some friends, mostly to see Craig.
We had sex. I met Dean Ahmad and his wife, Francis Eddy.
Craig continued to call me almost every day. We agreed that he
would be the baby’s acknowledged father for social purposes only.
We agreed to send out pre-birth anouncements to our friends.
I saw Craig several times that year. I was very unwell with morning
sickness and barely able to cope with everything that needed to be
done. He came down to see me and we always had sex. Once we made
love in the park. Craig had never done that before. I was very
pregnant by then.
October 26 - My birthday. Craig forgot about it, although I had
told him and sent him a present on his birthday on July 1st. Craig
called me at a friends house where I was having a birthday party. He
insisted on telling me about having sent flowers to Fenton, an old
girl friend for her birthday a few days before.
By this time I had arrangedto give birth at home with an MD for
backup in the hospital.
November 18 - Contractions start. On the 18th my physician wanted
me in the hospital for a CAT-scan. Tom Lisjac, a friend of mine,
spent the night with me there, talking. I was very uncomfortable
physically. The next morning Tom drove me home. I was home and
walking around trying to bring on contractions when Craig arrived
from San Francisco. Around early evening my midwife said I must go
to the hospital. I was bleeding slightly. I had an emergency
C-section. Ron went with me.
Craig was there the next day holding Justin all day. He was there
continuously, leaving to sleep at night.
November 20 - Hospital Baby Dinner I had both Ron and Craig to share
the baby dinner the hospital offered to new parents. I went home the
next day.
December - Early in month - Craig called and asked me to pick Scott
up at the LAX. I was not yet driving so refused, although he tried
to insist. He told me he wanted to spend time with Jennifier Doman.
I refused. Later that week the support check he sent bounced.
At Christmas Craig arrived with Scott for the holiday. He spent the
days with us. He insisted that I have sex with him although he knew
that I was still bleeding and healing from the C-section. I refused.
1984 - January - Craig tells me that he will send on the check to
cover the hospital bills that are now due.
February - Craig again tells me he will send on the check. Then,
he tells me that he lent the money to two women instead. I deal with
dunning calls and damage to my credit rating for months. Eventually,
he sends the money. He tells me that he lied intentionally and was
justified because of my unwillingness to ‘service’ him sexually
at Xmas. He continues to come down more and more often.
Late in the year - Craig gives me a wedding ring. I assume this
means we are married. He is visiting very regularly now. He has
changed his employment and has arranged with his employer, Microtech,
to have an account paid with pre-tax dollars to cover his phone calls
and travel to see me. As far as I am concerned we are married. Soon
after this he buys me and the kids from Ron, who remains in the house
to finish the room addition.
1986 -Craig suggests that he move down to Los Angeles and that we get
legally married. He says he will change jobs to be able to marry
me.
July - Craig tells me he needs a new house. He does not want our
marriage to start in the house I have shared with Ron. He tells me,
which he will do over and over again, that his needs must be met and
it is my responsibility to meet them.
I agree to buy another house to make him happy. Craig and I find a house in North Hills.
We cannot afford the house. Craig negotiates my divorce settlement
with Ron so that he assumes the liabilities for the kids and we
receive $60,000 (half the value of the house on Chimineas) to put
down on the new house in North Hills. I receive nothing else. We
arrange financing with a second trust deed from Ken Hausman, who was
found for us by our real estate agent. I borrow money from friends.
($7,500 from Tom Lisjac, $5,000 from my father, we use the kids
savings accounts. Craig borrows $500 from one friend and $500 for
another.) I throw my back out getting the house on Chimineas ready
to finance. I will be unable to walk without pain for three years.
I have committed myself to the deal.
August - I drive up north to move Craig down. I had tried to do
this once before but my back was so bad I couldn’t walk. I take
the kids and we all help load. I drive Craig’s stuff back to the
Valley. I do most of the heavy lifting while Craig lounges in bed.
Craig takes the job with Green Hills and tells me he will be making
much more than the basic draw in six months. In fact, his basic draw
is not enough to pay for the mortgage and utilities.
It will be three years before he earns enough from his job for us
to make ends meet.
Mid- September - Craig takes me out alone to lunch at the Good
Earth. There he initiates, for the first time, a prenuptial
contract. The agreement is this:
1. I will agree to have plastic surgery when we are out of debt.
(Craig’s demand)
2. He will be able to adopt the children legally and change Justin’s
name to Franklin (Craig’s demand) This will take place when we are
out of debt (My demand).
3. He will bring his taxes up to date and keep them current. (My
demand)
I felt stuned, shocked and hurt. He had never mentioned previously
that he did not find me physically attractive. I feel trapped.
Craig tells me again that it is my responsibility to make him happy.
October 1 - We move into the house in North Hills. I do all of the
work myself to prepare. Craig, although there, is unwilling to help
with the heavy lifting. He disappears into the bedroom as soon as it
is set up. Portent of things to come.
1987 - January - Morgan moves in with us. My parents, who legally
adopted her, send us money for her room and board. She starts Pierce
College, they buy her a car. She starts working at Contempo and
going to college at Pierce.
May 2 - I write a check to Doug Thorburn who had taken care of
making out Craig’s back taxes. The check is No. 1939 for $270.00
(Taken from check register)
June 21 - Craig and I are legally married. I am angry that this
has not happened earlier. Craig is sullen and angry because he
decided he wanted to wait until he can have his dream wedding,
although we had agreed to marry the previous summer and my agreement
to fund the house and allow him to negotiate my divorce settlement
hinged on that expectation.
July - I find out that my mother is dying of inoperable cancer.
Craig tells me not to make such a big deal of it when I cry.
Labor Day Weekend - Craig insists we attend the LP National
Convention in Seattle. I want to skip it but Craig insists we go,
“because I promised him.” Craig becomes very threatening when he
doesn’t get what he wants.
September 15 - My mother dies of cancer. I arrange the funeral.
Craig never comforts me.
Late Autumn - We pay off Hausman loan on the houses and transfer
Chimineas house to Ron.
1988 - We go ever deeper into debt. Craig is doing consulting work
on the side to make ends meet. I am driving 6 hours a day, Craig to
work, the kids to schools. Craig tells me over and over again that
our financial troubles are my fault. He screams at me and threatens
me. My back has not yet recovered from the attempt to get the house
on Chimineas ready to finance and from the move. Every time I stand
up I am in pain. Craig strikes me for the first time over a
disagreement about archologies and their usefulness in San Luis
Obispo.
That spring I make his appointment with the tax accountant and he
refuses to go. He comes home and screams at me that I have lost his
W2 form and it is irreplacable and he cannot file the taxes. He
berates me, following me all over the house, threatening me. He
forces me to look for it for a week. I start to have panic attacks
and shake uncontrollably.
September - Scott moves in with us because he is unmanagable. He
has been violent with his mother and run away from home. He is
violent with the kids. He strikes Ed and is inappropriate with the
girls. We get no child support from Elaine. His braces need to be
restarted and he cannot share a room with anyone because of his
violence.
I am concerned about Scott's tendencies for several reasons. When
we were staying at my parent’s cabin I heard him telling the girls,
who were then 11 & 12, about his first sexual experience, which
was a gang rape of a girl by Scott and three of his friends. The
girls and Arthur were shocked and disgusted, as was I. I told Craig
about it and was very disturbed that he didn’t seem to think it was
serious.
Craig tells Ed that he, Craig, owns the house and will determine
where everyone will sleep. Scott, who has been inappropriate and
violent, smirks at me.
Craig suggests to me that the girls should be sexually available to
Scott. Scott does not know about this. It is Craig’s idea. He
tells me he would have liked to experiment when he was Scott’s age.
I am outraged and afraid.
I come home and
find Craig with the kids in the family room. He is talking to them
about me and when I sit down he tells me to leave and gets angry. I
late rfind out that he had been telling the kids that I am crazy and
they should not trust or rely on me. He wants them to rely on him
instead. I refuse to leave and he threatens and then strikes me,
knocking me out.
Scott calls the
police are they arrest him. I convince them to let him go. I have
double vision for several weeks and bruises over by back and breasts
and right arm and on my thighs. This took place, according to Ayn,
on night before the shuttle landed that year. She and Dawn have
written up their memories of the evening.
1989 -
The money from Green Hills starts to come in just before the
wedding. Craig is finally selling.
June 24 - Craig and I have the big wedding that he wanted so much.
I have done all of the work. I have sewed the dresses, made the
hats, arranged for all catering, performed by a friend of mine at
cost, and the flowers and made part of the food. I have made the
arrangments for the honeymoon and booked us into a bed and breakfast
for the wedding night. I arranged to have a basket of goodies in the
room along with champagne. A friend came with his friends to play
the music. Another friend of mine does the photography. Craig does
not give me a gift of any kind or arrange for anything to make the
wedding special to me. But he does complain about the toast I gave
him. It wasn’t appropriate, he says. That is what he will talk
about for years. I wrote a booklet for the wedding with a picture of
Craig’s parents and an article about my parents wedding on the same
date over fifty years before. We go to Italy for the honeymoon.
The Scott Incident - Craig and I almost break up on our vacation.
Scott threatened Morgan and then attacked her because she insisted he
clean up after his cat. Scott ends up threatening all of the kids
and running away from home to see his aunt in Virginia. He had been
angry for some weeks because he wanted to visit her but Craig’s
agreement with Elaine is that she will pay for visits to her
relatives. She will not pay for Scott’s place fare.
I refuse to have him living with us again. Craig again batters me
while I’ m driving him to work. I am pregnant. He shoves me into
the door, mashing my abdomen.
Craig insists we go to counseling with Nathaniel Branden. After
discovering Craig’s personal habits Brandon says, “that is
disgusting. How could anyone love someone who does that?” Craig
stops going to counseling.
We start looking for a house in Santa Barbara because Green Hills is
moving up there.
December 20 - The baby dies and I almost die of a hemmorage having
it removed. It was almost 8 months along. I am devestated. Craig
goes back to work in Santa Barbara leaving me alone with the kids.
He never comforts me. He tells me I failed. I cannot walk.
1990 - Money is better. I am paying off the debts we accumulated
during the time Craig was not selling.
January - June Craig and I take my father, who has moved in with my
sister in Santa Barbara, to Springville for the Lions Ham Dinner.
Craig decides, on the spur of the moment, to buy a cabin as a present
for me. I am hesitant because we are not yet out of debt. I ask how
much the payment will be. I am told they will be under $500 a month.
I will discover that they are actually two payments, one for $450
and the other for $1,250. We cannot afford to make the payments and
begin slipping back into debt. I am frozen with anxiety. Craig
begins giving Justin $100 bills and telling me I cost too much.
1991- November - Arthur moves in with Ron because I cannot deal with
him. Craig has never spent time with him or been a father to him.
July - I arrange for Craig to give a performance so he can film a
video of his songs being performed. I find a group, make programs,
sew the dresses, arrange for a camera on loan, persuade my daughters
and a friend of theirs to sing, schedule the event and pay for it
with money from the household budget. Craig will later tell me that
he did a favor for a group of my friends. I did not know the group.
They were not friends of mine, particularly.
September - Craig has arranged to take a singer to the National LP
Convention to sing his songs at a televised portion of the general
session. Icaution him that the convention committee is notorious for
rescinding such arrangements. He ignores me. We arrive and he is
told they have cancelled his performance. He will ba allowed to
perform at the cocktail party. We were not to be reimbersed for the
trip, at any rate. I am paying for it out of the household budget.
I point out that he can have time at the televised session if he runs
for president or vice-president. he is delighted. I write his
literature, a nominating speech, find supporters and deliver the
nominating speech. He is delighted. It is a high point in his life.
But he is not grateful.
I drive up to Santa Barbara at 10:00pm at night to take Craig his
medicine. He is sick with the flu. I drive back immediately. I am
getting maybe four hours sleep a night and am in constant pain with a
root canal I cannot afford to have done.
Scott is spending sumemrs in Santa Barbara working for Craig. Craig
is giving him 100 dollar bills, when he is giving him money at all.
Scott later tells me that he always had a sheaf of money. Craig is
also giving 100’s to Justin. Justin is six years old. Craig is
not giving me enough money to pay the bills. When he gives mea check
that is not large enough to pay the mortgage he tells me it is my
fault.
1992 - April - My father dies. I mourn alone again, but I am getting
used to doing that alone. I conduct my father’s funeral. I am
forced to put all of the $40,000 I inherit from Father into keeping
us afloat. Craig will not tell me why there is no money.
Craig begins ‘investing’ money in puts on the stock market. He
tells me they will pay off, but none ever do. He screams at me and
batters me three times because I object to buying puts when we can’t
pay the bills.
September, Dawn goes off to college in Massachusetts.
1993 - September, Ayn goes off to College at Hillsdale, Michigan.
Dawn comes home and starts college at Santa Barbara City College. I
pack up the house in North Hills alone and move to Santa Barbara.
Craig is in Japan. We are moved in entirely in less that two weeks.
In three days you could not tell a move had taken place. I leave
three boxes of Craig’s stuff in the garage. They will sit in the
same spot for a whole year until Craig takes them to Green Hills.
At Halloween I give a party for our friends and, mostly, Craig’s
associates from Green Hills.
1994 - January - Northridge Earthquake. Our home, just on the
market, suffers major damage. Morgan is unjured in the Quake. I
drive down alone on the 18th to help do what clean up can be done.
It will take up 18 months to get a contractor. I had arranged for
quake insurance so we will have some help rebuilding.
Craig screams at me and tells me the earthquake is my fault.
February - My sister, Anne Gripp, has a heart attack in Japan. I
fly over there to be with her and stay for two weeks. I return.
Craig makes me go back to Japan with him a few weeks later because,
“I promised to go.” I am forced to leave my sister to die
without me. I conduct a funeral for Anne at the Congregationalist
Church.
Craig gets pneumonia. I make him go to the hospital and care for
him. He thanks me for saving his life.
1995 - Craig invests his entire 401K in Green Chip. He is
enthusiastic. He is still investing in puts. I have no say in what
he does because it is his money, he says.
More Puts. I cannot understand why Craig is spending so much money
that never shows a return but when I try to talk about it he threats
me, shoving me into the edge of a door and bruising my skull.
November - I put on a convention at the Radisson. I host 25
speakers from all over the country. Anne Stone attends and says it
is better that the Dark Ages Weekend.
December - I have an emergency D & C. I drive myself to the
hospital and Morgan drives me home. I do not see Craig, who is at
work.
1996 - We are finally climbing out of debt. But in June Craig tells
me he will get no pay check. He starts selling more bonds. He
borrows money from Green Hills. I will find out that his wages were
levied for $150,000 by the IRS. But I will also find that that is
just the tip of the ice berg. The Titanic is sinking and I didn’t
know we were on a ship.
Craig tells me he is having some trouble with the tax people, but
has hired a firm of attorneys. Brown & Associates, to handle it. He gives them $6,000
eventually, but they never manage to help because he refuses to give them the records. I ask if I should cut
back, cancel trips but am told by Craig that it will be taken care of
in just a few days or by the next pay period. But that never
happens. Craig screams at me and tells me I am too stupid to know
what to do. He pushes me with his forearms.
1997 - January - Craig batters me. He knocks me out, shoving me into
the wall just outside our bedroom. We argued because I am worried
about money and having enough to pay the mortgages, which are late
after Craig told me he was taking care of his tax problems. I am
worried I will not have money to pay for Ayn’s senior semester in
college.
Craig comes down with adult-onset diabetes. I go into work to get
his papers together so the attorneys can take care of the tax crisis.
I still do not know what can have caused it. I find the tax
returns, unmailed, from 1986.
Craig and I have a talk and he admits
he has lied to me and failed to keep his promises in every
particular. I agree to handle it. He agrees to fund my non-profits,
give me any money I can get back and let me handle the finances. I
spend three months, 18 hour days, sorting, begging pleading, saving
first the money from the house in LA and then our house in Santa
Barbara. I get credit from our accountant, our therapist, file a
letter with the IRS citing the Americans with Disabilities Act. I
have a heart attack and find myself, unconscious on the floor. I
can’t go to the hospital because I must finish saving the money
from the LA house. I am afraid I will die. I have an eye infection.
I work through it, my eyes dry and painful. Craig calls me up, he
is away on business, and yells at me, ordering me to go, but I can’t.
I need the money to save the house.
At the same time I am helping Morgan, as Craig promised to do. I
continue to send money to Scott, as Craig promised to do while we
were sinking steadily into debt the previous autumn.
I will find out in July of 1998 that Craig told Justin that I was
crazy - because I thought I could get money back from the IRS and
State Franchise Tax Bureau. He told Justin that I am mentally
disordered and not to be trusted.
Morgan has stayed in the house in LA to oversee the repairs. We
agreed to pay for her apartment and repay her loan to us. I buy her
furniture to repay loan of $5,000. I pay for her move and expenses.
It is very tight financially. She says she is still trying to make
it in the film industry and Craig offered to help her. I thought his
offer too indulgent but went along along, as always. I never felt
as if I had any control or say in the matter.
In April the levies stop. The taxes are filed. Money starts to
come back. I start paying off the bills that have accumulated.
May - Ayn graduates from Hillsdale and we all go to the graduation.
As always, Morgan is bitchy and unpleasant. She refused to use
frequent flyer miles, necessitating our purchase of tickets to accommodate her.
I stay behind when the others leave to do research on a book and
then come home and take the kids to Hawaii. My treat to myself. I
use frequent flyer miles and we stay at a cheap B & B. Outside
shower and few amenities. We have a great time, the only vacation I
have ever had.
September 27 - Arthur has a major motorcycle accident. I spend the
next five weeks with him every day. He recovers, something the
doctors did not expect. But he had a brain injury that will be with
him always. But he is alive. Craig goes to the hospital only once.
He complains about our sex life. He insists on telling me about his
fantasies about other women. He tells me about a fantasy he has had
about Ayn Rand.
December - We decide to celebrate by taking the family to Hawaii.
We have a great Xmas. Few presents but lots of hugs and good times.
By January we will be entirely out of debt for the first time in our
marriage. In November I tell Craig I am ready to schedule the
plastic surgery I had promised to have. In December I talk to Craig
about having a baby together. I am worried about Craig, I think he
is working too hard. He tells me over and over how much the trip to
Hawaii helped him relax. I have asked the girls if they want to be
adopted. Arthur is reluctant. He still feels that Ron is his father
emotionally. The girls are willing. Craig has always said that Dawn
is the child, of the six, who is most like him. Justin is strongly
unwilling to be adopted or change his name. He is not speaking to
Craig because Craig beat him. Justin has written up his memories on
this. Craig bribes Justin for hugs.
In December I was forced to find a program for Justin because he had
barricaded hmself in his room and refused to go to school. I send
him to a three week program at the School for Urban and Wilderness
Survival in Idaho. I intend to send him to boarding school, although
it grieves me, and begin looking for an appropriate school. While I
am doing this Craig evidently had his attorney in the house going
through my records. He is trying to prove we have never been
married.
7239 12/28/97 Barbara Moore - $110.00
Food in Hawaii
7239 12/28/97 Henry Venning - $280.00 - Kyaking for family
December 30 - Craig becomes agitated
in Hawaii over the kids, Ayn, being on my computer in the
livingroom. He orders me to stop her from talking to her friends on
line. I go out to ask her to stop and he storms out and wrenches the
computer off the desk and pushes me into a wall. I will have
bruises for two weeks.
December 31 - I am upset with Craig. I was shocked by his behavior.
I drive him to the airport.
1998
January 1 - Craig visits his attorney in Santa Barbara, I later
learn. He will deposit $27,500 in my account which is half of his
pay check. He will try to claim this was a payment of support, my
separate property, and not money he gave me to pay household bills.
7246 1/3/98 Anaith Phillips - $350.00 -
family massage, Melinda, Dawn & Ed
ATM - 1/3/98 cash, for food Hawaii
7242 1/1/98 Ayn Pillsbury - $100.00 reimbursed for cosmetics for Melinda
7246 1/3/98 Anaith Phillips - $350.00 -
massage for Melinda and family.
January 7 - We return from Hawaii
7250 1/9/98 Chase Manhattan - $250.00 -
Household items and gifts
7251 1/7/98 Cox Cable - $50.00 -
Utility for household
7252 1/7/98 Orthopedic Surgical Group -
$27.50 - Medical for Ed.
7254 1/7/98 Dr. Sandin - $17.86 - Ed,
Medical
7255 1/7/98 Dr. Magneson - $127.45 -
Ed, dental
7256 1/7/98 Pueblo Radiology Medical
Group - $13.00 - Ed medical
7257 1/7/98 Pueblo Radiology Medical
Group - $1,824.48 - Ed, medical
7258 1/7/98 RMS - $220.00 - gardener
7260 1/7/98 Editors & Publishers -
$65.00 - subscription, requested by Craig.
7259 1/7/98 Orthopedic - $181.49 - Ed,
Medical
7261 1/7/98 Wall St. Journal - $299.00
- subscription, requested by Craig.
7262 1/7/98 SUWS - $720 - Justin, educational evaluation from December.
7263 1/7/98 City of Santa Barbara -
$240 - Water and Power
7264 1/7/98 Dr. Jones - $340 - Ed,
Medical
7265 1/8/98 Cat & Bird Clinic -
$232 - vet bill
7266 1/8/98 Vons - $80.00 - groceries
7267 1/8/98 Citibank - $1,300 - Craig’s
credit card
7268 1/8/98 News Press - $133.35 -
subscription
7269 1/8/98 Vons - $45.00 - Groceries
7270 1/9/98 Dr. Marquart - $140.00 -
therapy, Justin
7271 1/9/98 Party World - $57.82 - Ed’s
birthday party (Craig attended)
7272 1/9/98 Trader Joe’s - $20.28 -
Groceries
7273 1/9/98 AT&T cell phone -
$325.00 - Melinda’s cell phone
7275 1/9/98 Roshannah - $115.00 -
cleaning house
7276 1/9/98 Vons - $20.00 - groceries
7277 1/9/98 Martinizing - $38.38 -
Craig’s drycleaning for Europe
7278 1/9/98 Anesthesia Association Med.
Group - $780.80 - Ed, medical
7280 1/9/98 Air Touch Cellular -
$101.63 - old cell phone
a true and exact copy of the original that is in my
possession, which was written by Ruth Fisher, Esq., Bar No. 93769 for
Dan O'Dowd, President of Green Hills Software and signed January 18,
1998 by O'Dowd, Hightower, and Franklin. Agreement grants stock
options in amount of 600,000 to Franklin.
January 10 - I pack Craig’s bag for
Europe, call him to remind him about the time, put the bag in the car
and wait with engine running to take him to the airport. This is our
usual routine. I do not know he will come to the house from his
attorney’s office. We made love earlier in the day after he came
home from work and San Jose.
7281 1/10/98 AT&T - $700 - house
phone bill
7283 1/11/98 American Express -
$16,070.00 - Hawaiian Trip
7284 1/11/98 Ayn Pillsbury - $400 -
Xmas present
7285 - 1/11/98 - Wells Fargo - $460.00
- Credit card
7287 - 1/11/98 - Northridge emergency -
$80.80 - Ed, service used December 1st.
7286 - 1/11/98 - S.B. Pulmonary
Critical Care - $460.00 - Ed, for service in November
7288 - 1/12/98 - Ben Ray - $178.00 -
cabin repair for plumbing
7289 - 1/12/98 - American Spectator -
$54.95 - subscription for Craig
7290 - 1/13/98 - American Express
Corporate Card, ACP - $2200 - for non-profits
7291 - 1/13/98 - Dawn Pillsbury -
$2,000 School tuition, spring term
7292 - Susan Lundgren - $130.00 - Yoga
7293 - 1/14/98 - Vons - $220 -
groceries
7294 - 1/14/98 - Prudential Insurance -
$939.00 - Household insurance
7295 - 1/14/98 - Robinson’s - $62.00
- towels
7298 - 1/15/98 - Randolph Mayted -
$50.00 - Arthur, household care
7300 - 1/16/98 - Dr. Marquart - $140.00
- Justin therapy
7301 - 1/17/98 - Cathedral Oaks Club -
$1,135.00 - Family membership, tennis $300 extra for Craig.
7302 - 1/17/98 - Pac Bell - $101.00 -
cabin phone
7303 - 1/17/98 - Gas Company - $100.00
- Anacapa
7304 - 1/17/98 - Popular Science -
$17.94 (2 years) - for Ed, Xmas present
7305 - 1/18/98 - Natural Wonders -
$76.45 - Xmas gifts
7306 - 1/18/98 - Dennesia Guerrero -
$90.00 - house cleaner
7307 - 1/18/98 - Mobile Oil - $70.00 -
gasoline
7308 - 1/18/98 - Citibank - $50.00 -
Melinda’s credit card
January 18, 1998 - “Substitute Stock Option Agreement, January 1998,” written by Ruth Fisher, Esq., Bar No. 93769 for
Dan O'Dowd, President of Green Hills Software and signed January 18,
1998 by O'Dowd, Hightower, and Franklin. Agreement grants stock
options in amount of 600,000 to Franklin.
January 18 - Arthur’s birthday. We take
him out to the movies at the Granada theatre. Craig and I hold hands
in the dark. Later we all take Ed to Mimosa for his birthday dinner.
Craig goes back to work.
7309 - 1/19/98 - GTE - $200 - House
phone
7310 - 1/19/98 - Penney’s - $20.00
7311 - 1/19/98 - Honda - $150.00 -
Ayn’s car, graduation gift from last May
January 19 - Craig tells me he will be
very busy all week with the Japanese coming in. He has finally
signed the stock options with Green Hills. I tell him that is great,
we have to celebrate. We have been waiting for this for many years.
He said it will be our retirement, to replace the money he lost and
then some.
Wednesday, January
21nd - Craig called while we were fixing dinner to tell me he was
going out with his group from Green Hills and then bowling. I was
surprised because this was very uncraigish behavior. He said he
would call back later to tell me how the day’s meetings had gone.
He later comes home and rummages through the refrigerator looking
for left overs. He complains there is nothing to eat.
7313 - 1/21/98 - Susan Lundgren -
$130.00 - Yoga
7314 - 1/21/98 - Vons - $100.00 -
groceries, household.
7315 - 1/21/98 - Dr. Marquart - $140.00
- Justin’s therapy
7316 - 1/21/98 - Long’s Drug Store -
$76.29 - film development from Hawaii
7317 - 1/21/98 - First USA - $1,350.00
- Hawaii trip
7318 - 1/22/98 - Martinizing - $35.72 -
Craig’s drycleaning from Europe
7319 - 1/22/98 - DAR - $36.00 -
Melinda, lunch
7320 - 1/22/98 - Santa Barbara City
College - $42.82 - Ed’s books for school
7321 - 1/22/98 - Dennesia Guerrero -
$95.00 - house cleaning
7322 - 1/22/98 - Vons - $90.00 -
Groceries to make Craig his special favorites.
Tuesday, January 22nd - “Citation for Conservatorship,” Because Arthur is not capable of handling his own business I ask to be named his conservator. I do not renew it because I realize it is an unnecessary cost. I have become his full time 24/7 caretaker. Issued by the Superior Court of Santa Barbara, Case No. 222783, Judge
Thomas R. Adams.
Thursday, January 22rd - Craig
called at 11:30pm and began the conversation by telling me about his
day’s activities and asking about mine. I told him that Dawn and I
had prepared a meat loaf and a tuna fish casserole for him and that
they were in the refrigerator. He had come home on Wednesday and
grumbled that there was nothing to eat in the refrigerator. I was a
little surprised, since he usually eats out with clients during weeks
there are meetings, but thought it would be nice to make him his
favorite foods.
I told him briefly about what he had
done that day. Then he said out of no where, “I’m divorcing
you.” I didn’t say anything, being too shocked to speak. He
said, “Aren’t you going to say anything?” I said, “I don’t
know what to say.” He then said he would be by Saturday. “for
the rest of my stuff” and hung up on me without giving me a chance
to respond. I tried to call him at Green Hills but he was not
answering the phone, assuming he was there.
7330 - 1/26/98 - American Express -
$2,910.00 - Hawaii trip
Saturday, January 24th - Craig
showed up at the house at 10:30pm with a process server , hereafter
referred to as Hired Flunky, who handed me divorce papers. I told
him that his ‘stuff’ was in the garage and showed the pile to
him. I closed the door and told him not to come back in the house.
He removed the pile and came back in the house and started removing
more items. I objected to this because I felt unprotected and unable
to effectively monitor the process.
While I was blocking the kitchen
entrance Craig went aroundto the patio door and went in, pushing Dawn
into the table. Justin witnessed this. Craig went upstairs.
I said several times that this should
wait until the property dissolution, reiterating that there had been
no proper notification. I was ignored by both Craig and his Hired
Flucky. He and his Hired Flunky insisted on coming in the house
and going through it. In my bedroom Craig insisted on looking though
the dresser although I told him all of his clothing and other
belongings had been in the pile he put in his car. He made comments
about my using this space for my own things. He went through the
family room and library and my office. He found his Objectivist
Records and I had Justin take them down to his car. He forgot the
Objectivist Newsletter, which remains, a blight in the middle of the
library. I feel helpless, abandoned and betrayed. But the kids have
been wonderful and supportive.
Sunday, January 24 - Woke up at
6am, shivering even though the room was too hot. I took three baths
last night, nice long soaky ones, but it didn’t help. I need to
seem strong so the kids stay calm. Justin is spending every moment
with me. He is still afraid that Craig will come over without
warning. He wants a restraining order in no uncertain terms. Dawn
wants to have him arrested for assault and battery. It seems weird
that he could be charged for assault and battery for just pushing her
into the table. Times have changed for the better. The police
wouldn’t arrest Craig when he broke my finger and pulled my shoulder
out of the socket. Maybe I should have charged him last January when
he knocked me out.
Went to church with Dawn. I was going
to stay afterwards for the Women’s Wisdom meeting but Justin called
on the car phone and asked where I was. I reminded him that we were
at church. Seems Craig had called again. So I went home. He needed
hugs and just being near me - all day. We played scrabble and went
over to talk to Penny Welter. Her daughter, Taylor, held the party
last year where Justin was assaulted by Craig. She said she was
willing to testify. I need to get the name of the police officer who
was there, too. She wasn’t there, but I left a message with
Taylor.
Started the diet again. I need to
lose weight. I worry about my heart. After this is over I’m make
time to go in for a check-up.
Dinner was great. Ed came home and we
were all in the kitchen cooking at the same time.. Ed told me that
Craig had called down there and told him about the divorce. Also
comensorated with Ron about having been married to me. No one wants
to eat the meat loaf and the tuna fish casserole. Maybe I should
send it over to Green Hills for Craig it was, afterall, prepared for
him.
Talked to Ayn. She had been in
Cleveland visiting a friend from Hillsdale so didn’t know what had
happened. Craig also called her. She said he talked to her for an
hour. Never asked how she was doing, just, “How is the weather,
I’m divorcing your mother.” Then the balance of the time trying
to justify himself and tell her how rotten I am. She told me all
about it. Guess he had to tell me over the phone the day before they
served papers because I was sure to attack him with the kitchen
knives. Ayn asked him is he knew of anyone in the family who had
been violent besides himself.
After dinner we went up to my room and
Justin and I had Dawn read our Tarot cards. Much better than playing
Monopoly with Justin. Playing with Justin is like negotiating with
Bill Gates. I’ll be glad when he moves his negotiation practice on
to the rest of the world. Yawns and bed.
Monday, January 25th - Called
Alison first thing in the morning. I was up early because, again, I
hardly slept. Justin was very quiet on the way to school. He forgot
to re-sort the chess pieces for Chess Club. He was worried about
telling Mr. Winn why he forgot.
Yoga was wonderful. It helped work
out some of the crinks in my sense of humor. This is ridiculous. I
do know that - somewhere in here. So, talked to Alison and arranged
to come over and go out to lunch to talk. But first took Arthur to
school. Retrieved dry cleaning. There was one shirt of Craig’s
left there. Picked it up. Guess I’ll just keep it for him. I
have two more boxes of his books and other stuff I found, too.
Picked up Ed and he and Dawn and I
headed out to Montecito to see Alison. Had lunch at Peabody’s.
She forgot her money, so I treated. Kind of funny. I can tell this
divorce is going to be very repetitive. Same things over and over.
One surprise, Craig listed our day of separation as January 1st. I
said, Huh? Alison asked me what happened in that period and I told
her we had sex and then on the 10th I packed his bag for Europe and
had the car waiting in the alley, bag loaded, to take him to the
airport. All was pretty normal. He had been in San Jose for a night
or two that week. He hardly stayed home, kept going back to work,
but that is normal just before a trip. Then when he came back from
Europe he took a cab to Green Hills and went to work again. Meetings
the next week, all week, he said. Craig did take time to come home
and celebrate Ed’s 20th birthday with us. We went to see Hard Rain
at the Granada and then out to dinner at Mimosa. Then he went back
to work. He told me that day the stock options had been signed and I
said we would have to celebrate. Looking back on this conversation
it was odd that he didn’t want to talk more. Craig always wants
totalk about his successes.
Alison asked what our relations had
been like, in the period to time between January 1st and January 23.
Well, I said, When we came home from
Hawaii Craig was getting ready to go up to San Jose for meetings. I
had known this since we had talked nearly every day on the phone, as
usual. When we returned home I had to schedule a meeting with
Justin’s educational consultant and get Ed back to rehabilitation.
On Friday Justin had an appointment with Dr. Marquart, his therapist.
Dr. Marquart thought Justin might be able to make it at home and be
able to go back to Goleta Valley Jr. High. So we agreed to a trial.
Justin started back to school on the 13th.
Craig called me while he was in Europe
and we talked. Very normal. When he came home he dumped his dry
cleaning in the bin and I took it along to the cleaners. That
Thursday, the 22rd, I had put his newly clean underwear in his
dresser just before I went to bed at 11:30. They were still warm
when I took them out and stuffed them in a plastic bag at 11:45.
Called Craig at his hotel. Was he
surprised. He asked how I found him and I told him that I just
called the motel closest to Green Hills. Oh, he said. I just wanted
to hear his voice. We didn’t talk about much. He wanted to talk
about the divorce but I kept telling him I just needed to feel near
him. I told him that he was my best friend and I missed talking.
He said he did, too. Stupid. I won’t call again.
Tuesday, January 26th Took
Justin to school and after feeding him at McDonalds took him home.
He is very depressed and scared and wanted a day to vegetate. I want
one too, but it won’t be today. Ed had to be at rehab at 9am.
Then came home and called the attorney. Told her a few things I
remembered. Picked Ed up from rehab and when I came home Dawn told
me we needed to go out to the attorney’s office so she could sign
some more papers. We went. I had an idea. Since I can’t seem to
get the time to write anything else now why not write the story of
this divorce and see if I can sell it. Great study of the effects of
abuse and how it can manipulate your thinking. Love the scene where
Craig buys me from Ron. Alison liked the idea, so I am doing it. I
didn't have title until 4am this morning and then I realized the
title is, A Woman’s Primer for Individual and Political Justice
. I laughed.
Alison told me I needed to put
together an expense statement and demands, so I spent the rest of the
day doing that. I hate that kind of paperwork. Did take Ed to
school to pick up a paper.
Wednesday, January 28th School
for Justin. Class for Ed. Yoga for Dawn and myself. That took care
of the morning. Afternoon talking to attornies and faxing papers.
What a life. I did take the boys down to get the long-promised
bikes. Dawn and Justin drove home and I took Ed and his new bike in
the car. Pizza all around for dinner. Crashed early.
Thursday, January 29th Justin
told me that he had a nightmare about Craig. He it was horrible -
and it was. I told him to discuss it with his therapist on Friday. Arthur missed therapy. He forgot about the change of location. But the
therapist was glad because he now understand how important it is to
use his daytimer. Justin took the bus home from school, which saved
me some driving. Talked to Alison and Ron about the documents I sent
yesterday. I made chili for dinner and Dawn baked the corn bread.
The kids and I played Scrabble and went to be around 9pm.
Friday, January 30th Justin did
not go to school today because I expected to be on our way to
Yosemite. But that cannot happen because of my eyes and the
condition of the car. Worries me, the sound from the brakes. So we
slept in a little and went out to breakfast at Cajun Kitchen on de la
Vina. Then I took Ed to school and then to Rehab. He is going to
walk home. I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Ed went to spend the
week-end with Ron in L.A.. Justin, Dawn and I sent to see Deep
Rising, a stinker of a movie if there ever was one. Then we went to
Borders to use the certificates Craig gave out to all at Xmas. I let
Justin use mine.
Saturday, January 31 Just the
three of us home today. I started cleaning out the closet in the
library and couldn’t find the material for Kathy’s dresses. I am
sure that Craig took the bolt and patterns. I called Scott and told
him to find out for sure. I felt very down. Justin is spending a
lot of time with Peridot. He sure loves that cat.
Sunday, February 1 Dawn and I
went to church today and then to the Women’s discussion meeting.
It was an interesting experience. The people are very nice but it is
strange to know that they are all liberals. We went home and picked
Justin up and went to lunch at China City in Goleta. Justin had
Arby’s. Then we went to Blockbuster and rented a video. When we
arrived home Scott called and told me that he had talked to Craig and
ascertained that he had indeed taken the material and that he does
not want me at the wedding. He also does not want me to make the
dresses for Kathy. Scott said he was upset. Craig also said he
could not send him the money for rent because he had, “spent it on
himself and his attorney.” He was upset also that Craig cut him
off after the requisite 3 minutes. I told him I would try to find
some money for him and send it tomorrow. I know this is hard on him,
feeling as if he is in the middle - and he is, much more than Justin
in some ways.
I did send him money to find out he was siding with Craig but milking me for as much as he could get. I then demanded he return it. A few weeks later he did return it.
Later, I talked to Ayn who said Craig
had called her and wanted to talk. He had told her that I was going
for more than 50% but he didn’t know if that was me or my
attorney. He asked how I was. Teflon Ayn told him I was writing
again, when I don’t have migraines, and doing well. Dawn and I
worked on our belly dancing outfits a little and then played hearts
with the boys until bedtime. It is raining like the dickens.
Monday, February 8 - I have
pressure and pain in my chest and up into my neck and back and down
my left arm. I go to the emergency room at Cottage Hospital and an
admitted to the cardiac unit. I call the Morgan, Scott, Ayn and
Craig. Craig hangs up on me. I cry.
Tuesday, February 9 - Justin
refused to go to school. although there was no one to take him,
anyway since Dawn can not drive. He comes to the hospital and sits
my my bed until I am discharged. I feel terrible, like I have been
run over by a truck. I am still having the symptoms on and off. I
am frightened. I do not want to die and leave my children. I write
a will when I arrive home. I need to have the attorney do something
about a will.
I decide I need a change. I will go
to the Libertarian Convention in L.A. I call and make reservations.
I call Jack and we talk about what is happening. It is like old
times.
Wednesday, February 11 - I
receive a call from the convention organizer telling me I am not
welcome at the convention. This has never happened in the history of
the LP. I call and am told that she has been told I am violent. Ic
all Jack. Twenty minutes later the disinvitation is rescinded by
Mark Hinkle, the state Chairman. He was told that I would, “cause
a scene at the banquet, and am violent.” He was told this by
Michael Emerling Cloud.
I am furious. I served as a state
officer in California for this organization for six terms. I was
county Chairman in LA for two terms. I ran 24 campaigns, ran for
office, State Senate, funded and ran two offices, raised thousands of
dollars, held ever lower office that exists, planned and carried out
protests and wrote press releases. Craig has never held an office in
the organization. He was there as my come-along.
Thursday, February 12 - I take
magazines and mail over to Craig at El Prado. He refuses to thank
me, saying that I have nothing better to do anyway. He is angry
that I am going to the convention. I tell him that he has no right
to try to prevent me from going and he says he does, that Michael
should be able to keep me away.
Saturday, February 14 - Dawn and
I go to the convention in Los Angeles. I see old friends and have a
great time. I have made appointments to see Dolores White and Armand
Santomayor, both friends from the Republican Party. Armand is
thinking of running for city council. I promise to send him
information about enterprise zones and other info of interest. I make
a note to contact Poole at Reason and get him on their lists.
Dolores has decided not to run for State Senate this time. At the
banquet Craig will pay $1,000 to get up and play a song. He does a
terrible job, out of breathe and out of practice.
Tuesday, February 16 - I cut my
finger unloading the dishwasher. Another trip to the emergency room.
They sew it up but it will not heal, it will become infected. This
will be a problem for a week or more. I will go to Dr. Danson for
treatment and receive antibiotics. I cancel Craig’s reservation
to the Reason Weekend. He had said he didn’t really want to go,
anyway. Reason, and supporting it, has always been my thing, anyway.
Inappropriate sexual
conduct and abuse towards children
In 1988 I had shocked and appalled by
Craig’s suggestion that it would be appropriate for my daughters to
be “sexually available’ to his son, Scott. Craig and I had had a
very angry argument, duringwhich he had threatened me. But I told
him, in no uncertain words, that the mere suggestion was completely
sick and he dropped the subject. But over the years I noticed the
following behavior which troubled me.
Craig would generally keep at least
his underwear on in our bedroom. He did not parade around the house
unless he put on a robe. But when the girls became older and
especially after we were living in Santa Barbara and Ayn was in
college and Morgan was visiting, he would remove all of his clothes
and walk around our bedroom with the door open. The behavior took
place most frequently while they were home. I asked him to please
remain clothed since I know it upset the girls, who had to pass by
our room on the way downstairs, but he told me that family nudity was
normal. I responded by telling him that in that case the family
would engage in the practice and not just one member. None of us
ever ran around the house even half dressed.
During the same period of time Craig’s
behavior towards my son, Justin, changed. Justin had become very
interested in playing chess. Craig wanted to play with him but would
insist Justin come up to our room so that Craig could play while
sitting naked on the floor with the door open. No one else was ever
unclothed. I actually typically dress in the bathroom myself.
Craig’s behavior towards Justin was
both manipulative and violent. He battered Justin several times but
earlier the more troublesome thing was his tendency to try to
manipulate Justin into attaching himself to him in strange ways.
Justin later told me that Craig would
tell him that he had to completely discount everything I said and
trust him instead. I thought this was bizarre, but later realized it
was the same behavior he had shown in 1988 with his meeting in the
family room.
It didn’t work. Justin started
avoiding him. I include Justin’s statement on some of the
incidents that took place before I sent Justin away to a treatment
program. I should have sent Craig, instead.
I started talking to Morgan again this
week. She told me that her relationship with Craig had become
increasingly strange. She said that Craig told her that he had been
having sexual fantasies about both her and Ayn for a long time. He
asserted to her that this was normal.
Craig had forced her to convert the
money he had given her into a loan, also forcing her to sign a
document saying that she had not had intercourse with him. Since
when this happened I had not considered this as a possibility I was
surprised at the timing when Morgan told me about it.
She then told me that he had insisted
that the good by hugs she give him increase in length.
Morgan lived in a two bedroom
apartment in Los Angeles and Craig would visit her there and use the
bed in the second room. In late 1998 he came down to visit and came
into her bedroom after she was in bed. He laid down on the bed with
her saying that his belly was too heavy for him to stand up while he
talked. She got up and put on her robe and left the room.
Not long afterwards she got rid of the
bed in the second room so he could not visit overnight any more.
September 17th - Outraged he is unable to finance the buy out of Green Hills Software, Inc., Glenn Hightower files a law suit claiming he has been intentionally thwarted. He was. Perhaps he deserved it.
[b.]
“Glenn
Hightowervs. Daniel O'Dowd, Case No. BS 053127, Superior Court of the State of
California for the County of Los Angeles, HIGHTOWER'S OPPOSITION TO
O'DOWD'S MOTION FOR ORDER DISSOLVING PRELIMINARY INJUNCTION, December
15, 1999, Filing Date September 2, 1998; [c.] Glenn
Hightower
vs. Daniel O'Dowd, Case No. BS 053127, Superior Court of the State of
California for the County of Los Angeles, RESPONSE TO OBJECTION TO
(PROPOSED FIRST MODIFIED INJUNCTION, December 15, 1999; September 17,
1998
[d.]
“Glenn
Hightowervs. Daniel O'Dowd, Case No. BS 053127, In the Court of Appeal of the
State of California, Second Appellate District, REMITITUR,” Copy of
original order, opinion or decision entered in the above-entitled
cause of July 1, 1999 and that this order, opinion or decision has
now become final, signed by Joseph A. Lane, Clerk, September 3, 1999.
Opinion Hightower is likely to prevail if there is proof of unlawful
action by O'Dowd.
[e.]AMERICAN ARBITRATION ASSOCIATION No. 72Y 180 0960 98,” a true and
exact copy of the originals that are in my possession, which is a
series of documents generated by the law suit filed by Hightower
against Dan O'Dowd over O'Dowd's exercise of their sudden death
partnership agreement on January, 1998. Decision that unlawful
action is not proved.
