Sunday, March 15, 2015

August 10, 1998 - To Bob Poole and his wife, Lew

Dear Bob and Lew,

When I returned home from WorldCon with the kids on Monday I opened the letter you sent to my attorney. I have to say that I was hurt.
I didn’t know anything about your party until I was presented with the two letters, copies of which I sent to you. I called Bob on July 30th from my attorney’s office five minutes after reading them to ascertain what was happening. I wasn’t even sure, at that point, that the ‘event’ referred to was at your home. I had to ask Bob if that was your address.
Bob told me during that conversation that he had had lunch with Craig some time earlier and, when he learned that Craig had not received an invitation suggested that perhaps the invitation went to my home instead of Craig’s office. This may well have been the cause for Craig’s letters from his attorney to mine. But as you know, the invitation was not sent to me. It went to Craig’s office where it was, evidently, lost.
I asked Bob for a verbal invitation because I felt that Craig was using your party to create the appearance that you were taking sides. I think this because of Craig’s previous actions. Craig tried to have me excluded from the LPC convention in February using Michael Cloud Emerling as an agent. I include a letter Jack Dean wrote about those events for you to read.
I was sure, from what Bob said, that you had no desire to create such an appearance. I assured Bob I could not and would not attend, telling him about my plans, of long standing, to attend WorldCon. But issuing a verbal invitation would, I felt, be a way of saying, “Melinda is our friend, too, even though she was not invited to this event.” That was all I wanted.
If I had not believed an invitation had been issued I would not have told anyone I was invited. But I also the one or two people I mentioned the matter to I would not be attending. I, in fact, told them I would be at WorldCon. I would not have attended, even though I believed I had received a verbal invitation, because I told Bob I would not - and because it would have been impossible for me to do so anyway. I was at WorldCon, in Baltimore.
When I landed on Sunday, the 9th at 6:30pm I still had to drive out to Pomona to pick up my son, Ed, at his rehabilitation facility. (He is improved since his suicide attempt in March, but still partially paralyzed on the left side. The brain injury is more troublesome. But there is improvement.) I arrived there at 8pm, repacked the car to squeeze in his wheel chair and walker and from there drove my other son, Justin, to summer camp in Frazier Park. I arrived home at 1:30am, Monday morning, August 10th. I slept most of the next day, except for caring for Ed and taking him to medical appointments and taking myself to the same.
Frankly, I have not had the time to think about much of a social life. Craig’s dramatics seem foolishly self-indulgent to me.
You two have an absolute right to decide who to invite to events in your home. My actions throughout the years speak for themselves. I respect the rights of others, even when they conflict with my own desires - which is the only time such assurances matter, of course.
In the conversation I had with Bob I asked him to call me directly if he had any questions regarding what I had said or done. I really wish I had been called before you wrote that letter. I hope in the future, if other questions arise, ( hope they will not) you will call. So that you can always get me on the phone here is my cell number: (805) 452-0058.
You have both been my friends for many years and I know that this horridness, too, will pass. Someday, I sincerely hope, we will laugh about this.


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