I do not under any circumstances want to have any kind of contact with Allan Craig Franklin, my biological father and the sperm donor in my creation.
Allan Craig Franklin on two separate occasions has struck me. The first incident was during mid-July of 1996. Allen Craig Franklin an I were playing a game of chess around 8:00pm I made an error in judgment while playing and lost my queen. Now Allan Craig Franklin and I had a verbal agreement that designated each one of us could take back one move per game. When I tried to take my move back and regain my queen Allan Craig Franklin put the pieces back saying he had never made such an agreement. I calmly started picking up the pieces off the board and quietly said, “I do not play chess with people who do not keep their agreements.” Allan Craig Franklin then picked up the half inch thick oak chess board and struck me over the back of a the head with it. I picked up the rest of the pieces and left the room.
The second incident was December 12 of the same year. I was attending a Christmas party at 10:30 PM. Allan Craig Franklin came to pick me up I said I wasn’t ready to leave and when I was ready to leave I would walk the four and a half blocks back to the house. Now, Allan Craig Franklin, having just got 48 hours sleep was extremely irritable. He grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me out the door. He spun around still hanging on to me, dropped me on my back to the brick patio then he tried to bend over and punch me in the face. I screamed and warded off his attacks by grabbing his fists and repeatedly kicking him in his stomach. Three seconds later my friend Christopher, son of Diane MacKay, the receptionist at Green Hills Software, came out and realized what was going on and ran to get the hostess, Penny Welter. She came out and Allan Craig Franklin apparently realizing how many people were staring at him, got off of me and as he was walking to his car yelled at me that I better come home soon in a very threatening voice. Then he stalked off, his large buttocks wobbling as he ran from the situation.
I began to walk home trying to calm myself of the urge to castrate him. When I did get home I went and got my medieval replica of a knife and went to see Allan Craig Franklin. When I entered the room Allan Craig Franklin was lying on the bed looking flaccid. I was carrying the knife unsheathed, holding it in a relaxed manner, pointing up from the V my arms were forming. Allan Craig Franklin became paler than usual at the sight of the knife. He then became extremely red as his shock turned to rage. He said, “What is that for?” I said, “I will not talk to you unless I am holding this knife.” He said, “I refuse to talk to you until you put the knife down.” I being negotiable went to the door frame and lean the knife against the frame so were he to get up I could grab the knife easily. As soon as I came back he proceeded to lift the ton of flesh he calls a human form out of the obviously grateful bed to be relieved of his weight. I ran through the door, grabbed the knife, ran to the library and into the office. I could hear something like earthquakes coming from behind me. It was obvious to me that Allan Craig Franklin was huffing behind me when I closed doors behind me and his bellowing opened them instantly. In the office there is a door to the alley behind our house. I ran out the door and down the alley. When I was half way down the alley I stopped, turned around and saw a large ball-like figure heaving on the ground, attempting to catch its breath. For a second I assumed it was beach ball. Then I realized Allan Craig Franklin had run out of breathe and doubled over. My first reaction was to complete my first plan and castrate him. But I would have to roll him over for that and that would have been a task of titanic proportions. So instead I walked back to the house .
Penny welter took me to Christopher’s home to spend the night. I called my mother there and she informed me that she was going to go out looking for me in the CAR. It took me 30 seconds to realize she meant she wanted me to call her on her CAR phone. Christopher, my mother and Diane, the Green Hills receptionist, and I talked for an hour after my mother arrived. I spent the night at Christopher’s and the incident was never mentioned again.
On two separate occasions I observed Allan Craig Franklin being obscenely irresponsible with his privilege of driving the Saturn.
In the summer of 1996, before the ominous chess board incident, he volunteered to give me a driving lesson. He drove the Saturn across the street to the Mormon parking lot and got out and switched places with me. I had a difficult time reaching the pedals at first because Craig’s belly was so large that I was too feet away from the steering wheel when I sat down. An that is an understatement. But after we adjusted the seat I realized that were Allan Craig Franklin made of clay it would not be possible to get him into the seat configuration I was using. After 10 minutes of going in ovals around the little islands in the parking lot I almost hit a brick wall on a right hand turn. Several minutes later Allan Craig Franklin told me I could not go home until I managed to make that right hand turn so I concentrated really hard. I made the turn perfectly and was so relieved that I closed my eyes and exhaled, calmingly. Then I opened my eyes and realized I was about to hit a car.
Allan Craig Franklin’s first comment was, “Damn it!” He blubbered up out of the car and examined the damage. His second comment was, “Damn it!” he then looked at me and said, “Do you know how much this is going to cost? This was a Mercedes Benz, the second most expensive car in the world.” He went on to blubber many incoherent things for the following thirty seconds. He then decided it would be a good idea to write his phone number on a small scrap of trashy looking paper and stick it under the windshield wiper very loosely. He then said, “You can not go home until you can do figure eights around the islands.” I was still shaking in some semblance of shock. I managed to perform the requested figure eights despite my anxieties and the odd weight differential in the car. One side seemed to weigh at least twice as much as the other side. Allan Craig Franklin drove us home after the complicated procedure of resetting his chair before it was back further that it was designed to go so he could get in. Not I did not say, get in comfortably. It was a miracle he ever managed to ever fit in that car.
The second incident was around January of 1997. He incompetently forgot to look for small moving objects such as bikes. A bike on the rain slicked road slammed into the side of the car shattering the mirror on the passenger side. Allan Craig Franklin then went about a lengthy process of getting rid of him as quickly as possible, with blatant disregard for his condition. Allan Craig Franklin gave the man his insurance information and got out of there as quickly as possible, and drove me to school without saying a word.
I would like to again point out that I have no interest in having any kind of contact with this fat, blubbering, and incompetent thing, that could be loosely called a Homo Sapien. I could provide numerous more reasons, not all of them sanitary, as to why he would be a bad influence on me were he to ever be allowed to see me again. I have no interest in seeing him ever again, unless absolutely necessary to the divorce.