Declaration by
Justin Foster
I do not under any circumstances want
to have any kind of contact with Allan Craig Franklin, my biological
father and the sperm donor in my creation.
Allan Craig Franklin on two separate
occasions has struck me. The first incident was during mid-July of
1996. Allen Craig Franklin an I were playing a game of chess around
8:00pm I made an error in judgment while playing and lost my queen.
Now Allan Craig Franklin and I had a verbal agreement that designated
each one of us could take back one move per game. When I tried to
take my move back and regain my queen Allan Craig Franklin put the
pieces back saying he had never made such an agreement. I calmly
started picking up the pieces off the board and quietly said, “I do
not play chess with people who do not keep their agreements.”
Allan Craig Franklin then picked up the half inch thick oak chess
board and struck me over the back of a the head with it. I picked up
the rest of the pieces and left the room.
The second incident was December 12 of
the same year. I was attending a Christmas party at 10:30 PM. Allan
Craig Franklin came to pick me up I said I wasn’t ready to leave
and when I was ready to leave I would walk the four and a half blocks
back to the house. Now, Allan Craig Franklin, having just got 48
hours sleep was extremely irritable. He grabbed the collar of my
shirt and pulled me out the door. He spun around still hanging on to
me, dropped me on my back to the brick patio then he tried to bend
over and punch me in the face. I screamed and warded off his attacks
by grabbing his fists and repeatedly kicking him in his stomach.
Three seconds later my friend Christopher, son of Diane MacKay, the
receptionist at Green Hills Software, came out and realized what was
going on and ran to get the hostess, Penny Welter. She came out and
Allan Craig Franklin apparently realizing how many people were
staring at him, got off of me and as he was walking to his car yelled
at me that I better come home soon in a very threatening voice. Then
he stalked off, his large buttocks wobbling as he ran from the
situation.
I began to walk home trying to calm
myself of the urge to castrate him. When I did get home I went and
got my medieval replica of a knife and went to see Allan Craig
Franklin. When I entered the room Allan Craig Franklin was lying on
the bed looking flaccid. I was carrying the knife unsheathed,
holding it in a relaxed manner, pointing up from the V my arms were
forming. Allan Craig Franklin became paler than usual at the sight
of the knife. He then became extremely red as his shock turned to
rage. He said, “What is that for?” I said, “I will not talk
to you unless I am holding this knife.” He said, “I refuse to
talk to you until you put the knife down.” I being negotiable went
to the door frame and lean the knife against the frame so were he to
get up I could grab the knife easily. As soon as I came back he
proceeded to lift the ton of flesh he calls a human form out of the
obviously grateful bed to be relieved of his weight. I ran through
the door, grabbed the knife, ran to the library and into the office.
I could hear something like earthquakes coming from behind me. It
was obvious to me that Allan Craig Franklin was huffing behind me
when I closed doors behind me and his bellowing opened them
instantly. In the office there is a door to the alley behind our
house. I ran out the door and down the alley. When I was half way
down the alley I stopped, turned around and saw a large ball-like
figure heaving on the ground, attempting to catch its breath. For a
second I assumed it was beach ball. Then I realized Allan Craig
Franklin had run out of breathe and doubled over. My first reaction
was to complete my first plan and castrate him. But I would have to
roll him over for that and that would have been a task of titanic
proportions. So instead I walked back to the house .
Penny welter took me to Christopher’s
home to spend the night. I called my mother there and she informed
me that she was going to go out looking for me in the CAR. It took
me 30 seconds to realize she meant she wanted me to call her on her
CAR phone. Christopher, my mother and Diane, the Green Hills
receptionist, and I talked for an hour after my mother arrived. I
spent the night at Christopher’s and the incident was never
mentioned again.
On two separate occasions I observed
Allan Craig Franklin being obscenely irresponsible with his privilege
of driving the Saturn.
In the summer of 1996, before the
ominous chess board incident, he volunteered to give me a driving
lesson. He drove the Saturn across the street to the Mormon parking
lot and got out and switched places with me. I had a difficult time
reaching the pedals at first because Craig’s belly was so large
that I was too feet away from the steering wheel when I sat down. An
that is an understatement. But after we adjusted the seat I realized
that were Allan Craig Franklin made of clay it would not be possible
to get him into the seat configuration I was using. After 10 minutes
of going in ovals around the little islands in the parking lot I
almost hit a brick wall on a right hand turn. Several minutes later
Allan Craig Franklin told me I could not go home until I managed to
make that right hand turn so I concentrated really hard. I made the
turn perfectly and was so relieved that I closed my eyes and exhaled,
calmingly. Then I opened my eyes and realized I was about to hit a
car.
Allan Craig Franklin’s first comment
was, “Damn it!” He blubbered up out of the car and examined the
damage. His second comment was, “Damn it!” he then looked at me
and said, “Do you know how much this is going to cost? This was a
Mercedes Benz, the second most expensive car in the world.” He
went on to blubber many incoherent things for the following thirty
seconds. He then decided it would be a good idea to write his phone
number on a small scrap of trashy looking paper and stick it under
the windshield wiper very loosely. He then said, “You can not go
home until you can do figure eights around the islands.” I was
still shaking in some semblance of shock. I managed to perform the
requested figure eights despite my anxieties and the odd weight
differential in the car. One side seemed to weigh at least twice as
much as the other side. Allan Craig Franklin drove us home after the
complicated procedure of resetting his chair before it was back
further that it was designed to go so he could get in. Not I did not
say, get in comfortably. It was a miracle he ever managed to ever
fit in that car.
The second incident was around January
of 1997. He incompetently forgot to look for small moving objects
such as bikes. A bike on the rain slicked road slammed into the side
of the car shattering the mirror on the passenger side. Allan Craig
Franklin then went about a lengthy process of getting rid of him as
quickly as possible, with blatant disregard for his condition. Allan
Craig Franklin gave the man his insurance information and got out of
there as quickly as possible, and drove me to school without saying a
word.
I would like to again point out that I
have no interest in having any kind of contact with this fat,
blubbering, and incompetent thing, that could be loosely called a
Homo Sapien. I could provide numerous more reasons, not all of them
sanitary, as to why he would be a bad influence on me were he to ever
be allowed to see me again. I have no interest in seeing him ever
again, unless absolutely necessary to the divorce.
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